One day

One day you said it, clear and clean, all those three words I always waited for. And my day was brighter, and my heart was warmer but my fear was bigger...
I know that day was one of a kind, and in the end maybe all was worth it, all the tears and pain, to reach that day, that one day when a dream became words, those three beautiful words...
But now the clouds are back and the rain may fall at any moment... and that one day almost seems to far away... Will we ever say it again? Will that day forever stay?

The gift of the sea

You always seem to have the gift to know when I need you, even when I know I need you and decide I should take it like a man and do it, pass by it, on my own.
I worry, as I always did, more than before, and you tell me to calm down, that everything is ok: "Just started to miss you and wanted to hear your voice!"
I swear I can see you blush on the other side of the line, on the other side of the world where dawn is coming fast, while here night is never night at all. And we talk, and you listen to my never ending adventures, and ask all the right questions at the right time and slowly everything seems to make sense, in my troubled mind the light finally shines, all the confusion is now rationality.
And I always seem to be able to talk about everything, open my heart and my mind to you and I always seem to get the words I should listen.
As always, your words inspire my words, and before you I complained about the confusion of my words and now... now my words flow and my mind is clear, I can now see: I am me!

Bulletproof romance

We all search for the same thing. Maybe some of us search for something more, others for something less. We all search for attention, affection, passion, sex, love, tears, smiles, honesty, commitment,  and whatever else you can think of. But in the end all that we all look for is a bulletproof romance: no flaws, no lies, no weaknesses and loads and loads of good, great feelings...

Some of us just quit when they realize that there's no such thing. Others spend their all lives working hard to make it bulletproof.

I once learned: nothing lasts forever; nothing's perfect!

Yet I'm one of those that spend their lives fighting and trying and losing and trying again amd fighting harder and falling faster...

You once said:"You're a lover, not a fighter!"

Why am I not both?

The emptiness of us

Days and nights, the rain falling second after second for minutes in a row.
Memories of you, of us invade my room, my mind, my world.
I wonder: when did you leave? Did you leave at all?
But most importantly: were you ever real? Were we real at all?
Sometimes, in between my sleep, my happy dreams almost seem real: I feel your touch, your lips onto mine, your aroma, sweet orgasm in my nostrils. Sometimes, even when I'm awake and I can see you I doubt if it was real at all...
But then, then you smile and I smile and we both laugh and all the memories come back, and the certainty of our existence eases my main, my inner pain.
How did we get to here?
The question always comes shortly after you leave. And behind you leave the emptiness of us as my sole company, my faithful friend.

The End

In my head it all makes sense. But my heart keeps telling me I'm wrong. Sometimes it's a picture, a smell, a song the makes me dream.
My first love wrote me once a poem that I converted into a song. Today, while smoking and thinking of you, of us, I realized that I could have wrote the same words today:

Feeling sad everywhere I go
There's always something worrying me
Can't be happy where I am
Thinking of all that I could be
(...)
Let me rotten in a bag
Leave me hanging in a tree
Run away while I'm asleep
Forget about me

Is it time to leave it all behind? Can't seem to decide if the end is the right decision. Am I running away or finally facing the situation?
My dreams wait for me and tomorrow will always be a new day... Tomorrow!
Tomorrow may be too late
Tomorrow I may wash it away
Tomorrow
No words to sing

Poetry again

Can't really tell
If it's paradise
Or hell
But I guess it's just life
As good as it gets

Never forget
That wherever we are
High in the skies
Or deep in the sea
I will always love you!
And you'll always love me?

The fountain

It is said in my country that: "So many times the jar goes to the fountain, that eventually it will break!"
Once you start saying and doping the same things over and over again, once you start arguing with the same person over and over again, once the argument has the same subject over and over again... it will eventually break!
I do not know where do we stand now, I don't know how well the jar hold the water, but I believe it's been cracking for a long time. Did it break this time? How's gonna grab all the pieces? Will we be able to glue them back together? Or shall we forget about it all and simple die thirsty?