Always something in the way

Isn't it amazing how there is always something getting in the way, something that becomes a little bit more of a priority, something that comes lost in time and space and takes all the time and space, all we need to be and keep not being.
Why can't people see what's right in front of them and blindly weaken to these absurd priorities that mean nothing for tomorrow, nothing for the day after and so very little for today, but still, they sometimes prevent tomorrow to happen in a full shinning sun, and the day after from being real at all.
Should reality kill, overcome the dreams or should the dreams always be the ones to take the front line?
Why can't people see clearly the path to happiness when reality is just a mess? Why can't people make time for what is important, or for what can make tomorrow the special day and keep insisting in postponing, maybe later today, maybe tomorrow....
And as time goes by the sun shines less, the moon becomes shier and hides, behind the clouds... and tomorrow, tomorrow's shinning blue sky is no more than a beautiful memory, a long long gone dream hiding in some dark corner of our memories.

Pointing the finger right at me!

There is and will always be a very thin line between paradise and living hell, between dreams and reality, to me!

I will always be dreaming too fast (or faster than you) or too high(or higher than you). So naturally I'm always the first one to fall, the one that falls faster, harder.
I'm always giving all I have and what I should never give up, but the feelings burn me so truly that I always give what I have, what I don't have and what I should never give up! And I change. I change and suffer, this pain strikes so deep I swear I can barely breathe, barely love. And you? You keep going with your life, smiling, feeling fantastic, not even caring to know how I am, how I'm feeling, not even recognizing what I gave up for you, all I gave you.
One day (and that day, I feel it coming soon) I will say enough! One day all we had will be no more than a vain memory, sometimes a cruel dream. One day all will be gone, lost, impossible to repair or to restart. On that day I will know it was all your fault but I will be so fed up I won't even bother to point the finger right at you. Maybe because on that day you will no longer exist, in my life!

Theory of Chaos

In the beginning there was nothing! Good will, maybe desire, maybe the wish of something more... and Bang!!!! I was born and then it was decided: chaos will rule my existence!
Never, maybe until lately, maybe until now I realized such an important factor. Everything tends to go towards chaos, the ultimate disorder of the world, the last stop on our way to emptiness (or is it emptiness the first step to chaos?). My life was always the ultimate journey to the absolute and unresolved collapse and I never realized what I was doing until now, now that the end is closer!
But the theory goes on and on about the balance between chaos and its counterpart, its counterweight, but form here and looking back... there were moments of peace and happiness... but chaos always fascinated me, always made me give one more step than I really needed... one step closer to the end.
But the end can just mean another Bang! another beginning, the arrival of the blue skies and sunshines.
I guess my life doesn't challenge the laws of the universe: chaos, collapse and re-start!
One more step and I will jump, one more step and I will be born again... or will I remain the same?