lost (in translation) in my life

My words are far, far away and even when they are around it seems like all ther sense was taken from them.
I wish I could put some of my brain-storming ideas chained to some words, but right now time just floats above my thoughts and the rain that falls outside isn't helping as before.
I remember those days, walking and smoking in the rain. A couple of minutes or a couple of hours, a pack of cigarrettes, a blast of thoughts and finally, with the sun shining over the horizon and the rain still over me, all made sense and my life was a walk in the park, again...
Now I have some of what I've been looking for, but at the same time, without any warning or request, so much was taken away, or so much I let go away...
I need a cheecky rain drop, or a thunderstorm night to help my thoughts happen, or at least let them be organized. I'm messy enough!
It's still raining outside and I still have smokes in my pack. Maybe it will thunder...