How do you deal with anger and love at the same time? How do you separate the feelings, how do you keep them apart from each other?
Is it possible to draw a line in between and live happily ever after?
I feel my guts burning with love and burning with anger and painful questions popping every second and the answers just don't come!
I've changed, life changed me you changed me, everyone that crossed my path has changed me... but there are moments like these when I feel as lost as I can be...
I just want to be happy and spend more than a week or two without going back to square one. I guess I'm no different from everyone else and at the same time I know I'm different... I know I am! Always was and always be. But I'm still trying to figure out if it's good or bad.
In the end I guess that's just me!
Monday, October 16, 2006
Sunday, October 15, 2006
lost (in translation) in my life
My words are far, far away and even when they are around it seems like all ther sense was taken from them.
I wish I could put some of my brain-storming ideas chained to some words, but right now time just floats above my thoughts and the rain that falls outside isn't helping as before.
I remember those days, walking and smoking in the rain. A couple of minutes or a couple of hours, a pack of cigarrettes, a blast of thoughts and finally, with the sun shining over the horizon and the rain still over me, all made sense and my life was a walk in the park, again...
Now I have some of what I've been looking for, but at the same time, without any warning or request, so much was taken away, or so much I let go away...
I need a cheecky rain drop, or a thunderstorm night to help my thoughts happen, or at least let them be organized. I'm messy enough!
It's still raining outside and I still have smokes in my pack. Maybe it will thunder...
I wish I could put some of my brain-storming ideas chained to some words, but right now time just floats above my thoughts and the rain that falls outside isn't helping as before.
I remember those days, walking and smoking in the rain. A couple of minutes or a couple of hours, a pack of cigarrettes, a blast of thoughts and finally, with the sun shining over the horizon and the rain still over me, all made sense and my life was a walk in the park, again...
Now I have some of what I've been looking for, but at the same time, without any warning or request, so much was taken away, or so much I let go away...
I need a cheecky rain drop, or a thunderstorm night to help my thoughts happen, or at least let them be organized. I'm messy enough!
It's still raining outside and I still have smokes in my pack. Maybe it will thunder...
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Life changes
Time goes by and we change, the world changes and life changes with it too.
Before I was feeling myself growing older as time passed. Today, everytime I look myself in the mirror I feel myself growing up.
I've changed so much that I could almost say that I barely know myself. But the fact is that I think I'm changing for better and most of the times I think I like what I see in the mirror.
Well, I didn't change taht, that much. I still eat a bar of chocolate during the evenings while drinking a litre of juice of a nice mug of coffee. But now I drink my tea and my coffee without sugar (YES, no need to faint. The boy who used to drink a mug of coffee with 4 packs of sugar is done!). Yes, I still smoke and drink, but I can see myself without smoking and I'm drinking less than before.
I've been experiencing so many things that I could only grow up...
Words run from the tips of my fingers - thant was another change - and sometimes I feel like there's no poetry in me anymore... but I know it's all there!
Before I was feeling myself growing older as time passed. Today, everytime I look myself in the mirror I feel myself growing up.
I've changed so much that I could almost say that I barely know myself. But the fact is that I think I'm changing for better and most of the times I think I like what I see in the mirror.
Well, I didn't change taht, that much. I still eat a bar of chocolate during the evenings while drinking a litre of juice of a nice mug of coffee. But now I drink my tea and my coffee without sugar (YES, no need to faint. The boy who used to drink a mug of coffee with 4 packs of sugar is done!). Yes, I still smoke and drink, but I can see myself without smoking and I'm drinking less than before.
I've been experiencing so many things that I could only grow up...
Words run from the tips of my fingers - thant was another change - and sometimes I feel like there's no poetry in me anymore... but I know it's all there!
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